This is a excerpt from an article that was in a Toronto newspaper quite some time ago. Dr Barry Simon, a Toronto psychiatrist, is the author.

"Learning to kick back and relax is invaluable - The ability to shift into a relaxed calm, centered state of mind during the very moment you need it most is a valuable transformational skill.

Being able to go from anxious, sad, frustrated to a calmer and more alert space is one of the most important skills to master. So many people I work with in psychotherapy feel compelled, driven, tense. In this state of mind, options are limited and regrets over what you say or do are common.

This physical"stuck" experience can be better understood by taking a closer look at the human brain. It has an ancient physiological system to deal with danger, one that is present throughout the animal kingdom.

This system is called the limbic brain - it's what instructs you to slam on the brake in the car when you see a cyclist cut in front of you. It reacts quickly, instinctively, with a rapid action. The limbic brain is a life-saving system. The downside is that in responding quickly and instinctively, it reacts to fear or danger with a rapid preprogrammed response.

The human brain is unique in also having a more sophisticated operating system than the limbic system: the neo-cortex. This part of the brain allows us to speak, think rationally, plan strategies or anticipate dangerous, complex situations. These dangers are not necessarily related to the physical threats to our lives but to perceived threats. Psychological concerns like a threat to our self esteem or a fear that we will fail would also activate our stress response.

Unfortunately, our interpretation of reality is more important to the brain than what is actually going on in the outside world. For example, the threat that you may be embarrassed by speaking in public is just the kind of threat that gets the limbic system cooking and wanting an immediate decision. The limbic system thinks of the least dangerous option - avoidance seems like the right option.

During these stressful moments your higher, creative brain shuts down except for taking orders from the limbic system - the specialist in danger situation solutions. This phenomenon has been described as downshifting. Downshifting in a fear situation during which the upper brain disconnects from the lower brain, the rational, intellectual and creative aspect of the upper brain disconnects from the lower, more primitive part of the brain.

In this state we do not use our higher functions to respond because they are unavailable to us at that moment. It is because of downshifting phenomena that stress-filled , overwhelming moments are so difficult to deal with - and it may be the cause of you repeating the same self-defeating behavior.

This downshifting phenomenon is part of the general stress response. The physical experience typically includes stiff neck muscles and tightening in many muscle groups of the body. It can also include holding your breath or shallow breathing. There is a general tightening of the joint surfaces of the body: facial tension, neck tension, jaw tension, shoulder tension, lower back tension, locked knees.

What you need during these moments is the ability to shift out of this state and into a state what allows you to respond mindfully."