Another ABC Exercise

After 35 yrs of smoking, it finally dawned on me that just addressing the chemical addiction was leaving the root, or the majority, of my smoking habit untouched. Sure I smoked because my nicotine level had dropped and it was 'time', but I smoked mostly because it was my conditioned and practiced response to almost every event in my life. So for me it became a question of how to find a way to influence the automatic responses that were my smoking day.

REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is based on the concept that ***between any event and our reaction or response to that event, there is a thought process whereby we make one or a number of statements regarding the initial event. Our reaction is then determined by those statements which are generally either unconscious or so automatic as to seem unconscious.*** There is a fairly robust menu of 'tools' that are, or can be used with REBT. Truthfully, I've no clear idea how most of them are used since I'm not an REBT therapist nor am I interested in becoming one. However, there is one tool within that menu that I found very useful in dealing with quitting and that's the ABC cognitive model.

The ABC model is a graphic representation of that process whereby we encounter an event, make some self-talk statements, and then, based on those statements, respond. Most of us aren't aware of the statement part of the process unless we happen to hear ourselves say, "Light up. It'll help." Even then, we rarely connect all the dots. Mark, a 'quitter' friend of mine, recently illustrated this point when he related how he had been working away on his web site when, out of the blue, he suddenly had an urge to smoke. In spite of his efforts to ignore the urge and just let it go, it hung on and pestered him for a while. We talked a bit about what he'd been doing at the point where the urge appeared.. was he needing a break from the job? was he tired? hungry? were there other distractions tugging at his attention? Looking back, he observed that he had been very focussed on his work all morning and probably needed a break and that it had been close to lunch time and he had been hungry. Yesterday Mark spent several hours at the computer. Much like the previous day, around noon, the thought of a cigarette jumped into his head. In that moment of "Uhoh! Here comes an urge!" another thought popped up which was, "Wait! I know what this is about. It's fatigue and hunger! A cigarette would help, but a break and a sandwich would be even better." Within the span of a thought or two, Mark had created a new response based on several rational statements. And because this new response was so appropriate to the situation that had brought on the cigarette thoughts, there was none of the inner struggle that usually accompanies the urge scenario. What Mark did was basically what cognitive or rational therapy is about..... and that's to provide alternative, current, and rational statements to go with the events or triggers we encounter.

I'd like to use Mark's experience to show how the ABC model can be used to prepare for and interrupt one common automatic smoking response. Mark spends a good chunk of time working on his web site. Often it can be an extended session and/or a frustrating experience. He has only to look at his history to know that that's true. Most of us can look at the routines of our days and predict with remarkable accuracy where the rough spots are or are likely to be.

B - is the belief system ("Common Dialogs") related to the current event. For a smoker, several hrs of work often means a lowered nicotine level. This results in the onset of withdrawal, which is characterized by a drop in the ability to concentrate and the beginning of a physical anxiety/tension. Any smoker 'knows' that the only way to cure those feelings is to light up. In B, in order to accurately represent the old beliefs, Mark would write, "A cigarette will help." Because it was the 'option' of choice through so many repetitions, it's also very likely that the statement, "A cigarette will help." will be the ONLY statement in Mark's old belief system.

Now it's time to draw two more boxes, one under B labeled B1 and one under C labeled C1. In B1 we try to look rationally and dispassionately at what the A (activating event) is. What exactly is the nature of the 'physical discomfort' and 'mental sluggishness' that comes with an extended time spent working at the computer. It might include muscle stiffness or soreness from sitting (inactivity). It might include the need to breath as sitting at a desk can result in shallow breathing. Being hunched over a keyboard for any period of time isn't conducive to proper breathing. The sensation of 'needing' to take a deep breath, to fill our lungs, is very similar to the 'urge' to take a deep drag off a cig. Cigarettes were mini breaks throughout our day. We need those breaks to step back and clear the head, to regroup and then carry on. Most of the time we figured they were just breaks because we 'needed' a cigarette and while that was correct if our nicotine level was low, a lot of us work best within a routine of periods of work broken by short rests. Maybe there's a nutritional factor involved here. When and what did you eat last? If you deprive your body of proper fuel, performance will drop and stress will increase. In B1 Mark would write, "My mind needs a break to gather my thoughts. Standing up and stretching or a quick 5 minute walk will get me moving and invigorated and help unkink my body. A couple of deep breaths will get some oxygen to my brain and muscles. A glass of fruit juice will give me an energy boost." And now, in C1, the consequent response will be based on a whole new set of response options in addition to "a cigarette will help". In C1 Mark would write, "I'll go take a short break, breath, clear my head, stretch, maybe have a little 'power snack', and then come back to work." These new response options exist simply because we've created some new, rational self talk statements.

We might still think of the cigarette, it takes time and practice to halt the immediate cig connection, but we'll also be looking at new responses. And it's those new responses, triggered by new thoughts that will begin to form a new foundation from which we can respond to life without the connection to a cigarette.

   The advice I was given was:
      1 - Do at least three of these exercises a day and, in the beginning, *DO NOT* do them when you're in the middle of an 'event'. We need to learn the steps before we can put it all together on the fly. Find a reasonably quiet time when you can look objectively at your self. The act of writing out the exercise helps to imprint the three step process: event/thought/response. Most of us aren't in the habit of looking at our actions as responses to our own thoughts. Rather we tend to see then only as responses to events.
     2 - Keep the ABC's simple. Use ONLY one event per exercise and state the events nonjudgmental. They are simple statements of fact. ( "I'm tired" or "Demands are being made on me" .. )
      3- I was also told that there's usually a 4 - 6 week 'learning curve' until it becomes a part of our thinking. I suspect that the time frame is extremely individual. Some people seem to find the ABC pattern intuitively correct and natural. Those people can take the ABC pattern of thinking and integrate it into their quits immediately. Mark saw the immediate results of simply being aware and prepared to respond differently. The reality is also that it takes time to become adept at encountering and responding to unexpected stress situations. It's by preparing and practicing with situations we can anticipate that we learn to handle those situations that surprise us.

   Most of us look at the years we smoked and at the countless instances where some trigger sent us to light up .... and we see soooo much WORK to do in order to learn how to not smoke or want to smoke. While it might take a while to get really good at rerouting old smoking associations and thoughts, it isn't that much work and the reason why is that it's only done one moment, one event, one step at a time. All of us can take just one step. You took a huge step when you decided to quit. Take one more. Then another. String a bunch of steps together and see how very far it'll take you.